Hello Friend: Entry 1

Hello friend.

I tried, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you about my day.  I am sorry.  You should know that my voice gets caught in my chest somehow.  All I want to do is tell you everything.  All I want to do is to save you from me.  I am in pain.  I keep having to relearn that good things can affect me badly, and I am lost trying to navigate my way through the mess in my head.  The days seem so bleak and I don’t feel alive though I know I am.  Every time I think or talk to you my internal voice seems to scream “Help me, please,” on repeat.  All you know, and all I can ever say are those words that seem to hurt me the most, “I’m okay.”

I appreciate you.

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